License to drive!

I am so overjoyed that my elder daughter, Rachel, finally passed her driving test on Tuesday afternoon! It was her 2nd attempt, better than me - 3rd! It took her a few moments for the realization to sink in after the JPJ tester handed her the report at the end of the road test. But she did well for her parking and slope on the 1st attempt.

I still remember my 1st road test in Wangsa Maju in 1990. Actually I had been driving without license for about a year before I actually signed up for official tutorial. Despite that I actually failed in the road test twice!

The first road test was the worst experience for me. The very minute I jumped into the designated car, with a plump JPJ tester seated inside patiently, things began to go wrong. As I started the engine and began to move the car out from its parking a volley of missiles began to spewed forth from the 'orifice' crafted into his head, which we call 'mouth' when referring to polite humans, and every missile that was launched so generously never failed to miss its target so much that I had to summon every strength from the fibre of my being to stop myself from stopping midway trough and walking out on him.

I had no idea that I had to signal right before moving out - but we were parked at a deadend to start with!

Next missile translated into me not having checked if the wipers were operating within normal parameters - like we all want to do that in the hot and burning sun!

Next came the complaint that I were not using both my hands to adjust the rearview mirror! Hello, I was not born with a short arm! By the way, if I were to use both hands for that purpose my upper torso would be moved away from upright position, and by the time I was done and back to my upright sitting position the mirror would really not serve me well.

It was amazing that the JPJ tester's mouth never failed to deplete its source of energy because it only stopped working when we came back to the testing ground and after I switched the engine off!

I blamed my tutor for all these 'hidden' rules.

Last time I checked, my tutor became an active member of a political party when we met in Desa Setapak.

Born Free!

I regret to remember that I was born free. 19 years have I been enslaved in walls that kept me in solitude and my mind in amnesia from living free. But now, these same walls are about to buckle and I am about to break free!

Imminent is my freedom to follow my heart. Next to my ear can I hear a roaring tide that will eventually break the walls built to contain me. I will hide no more in this pretentious security and false comfort. One step over the rubble will I begin to live my life to the fullest, living to be astounded over and over again by the beauty that will surround me, and the realisation that life is worth living! And then, will I continue to stay free because I was born free!

Born Free

Words by Don Black

Born free, as free as the wind blows

As free as the grass grows

Born free to follow your heart

Live free and beauty surrounds you

The world still astounds you

Each time you look at a star

Stay free, where no walls divide you

You're free as the roaring tide

So there's no need to hide

Born free, and life is worth living

But only worth living

'cause you're born free

(Stay free, where no walls divide you)

You're free as the roaring tide

So there's no need to hide

Born free, and life is worth living

But only worth living

'cause you're born free

Tribute to a friend Arokia Dass

I do not profess that I know Arokia as well as those who had worked with him, nor am I closely associated with him in friendship. But I do know that he is one who will always value my friendship, or anyone for that matter, whether you're close to him or not. Being close is not a prerequisite to being good friends, that I know of him.

He is a great teacher and had always dedicated his time and effort to guide the young in their spiritual journey during the Sunday Classes. I know him for years ever since I became the parishioner of Good Shepherd Church, Setapak, KL. Well, actually, I got acquainted with him through my wife who is also a Catechism teacher. Now, that acquaintance has ended when he passed on last Wednesday (3-June-2009) after a heart surgery.

Mostly I know him through my wife, who spoke about him ocassionally. She admires him for his commitment to the Catechetical Ministry, for his unwavering belief in the Catholic Church but most of all, for his humility. He loves his family, and is proud of his children.

Now that we will never cross path again I shall cherish his friendship and gentleness, and will always remember a strong yet humble man once befriended me.

R.I.P. Arokia

Wasted by Migraine!

Today, Saturday, was a day full of opportunities and the day I have been anticipating for a week. Alas, if not for the migraine it would also have been very fruitful.

Woke up at 6:30am due to migraine. Couldn't continued sleeping. Went downstairs, made myself a cup of tea after shower, and surfed the net a while before switching to Astro channel. Thought I could let the migraine subside but later at about 8am gave in to 2 Panadeine, which never failed to cure. Continued to be glued to the TV while the pills worked their magic.

An hour passed, the migraine which was attacking my right eye and surrounding area still persisted. Took another 2 pills at 12:30pm and laid down on my bed to rest. When I woke up at 3pm the pain did not even relent, not even a little. I began to worry. Worst case scenario for me was half a day of suffering. This is the first time I was suffering migraine for a full day. Maybe something was wrong with my nerve, or blood vessel somewhere.

Fortunately, the migraine subsided a little but still I swallowed another pair of Panadeine by 7pm. Till now, even as I am typing this blog, a small trace of migraine is still prevailing causing me to dread waking up tomorrow with another repeat..

Big scary Spider!

This spider was discovered just outside the front gate by my daughter a few days ago. Initially, she had wanted to give me a surprise cos she knows I would freak out but somehow I did not fall for the trap. Instead some bugs fell into the trap and was seen being cocooned and rolled over by this spider. (Click on picture for larger image)

Anyone knows what species it belongs to?

By the way it disappeared (including it's beautiful web) - maybe fell prey to a bigger predator.

Somehow I managed to muster all the courage just to get a close-up shot!

I WANT MY NORMAL LIFE BACK !!!

Who doesn't? If you're not normal it's understandable to want a normal life. You may not want people from every corner to know that you're a superhero, a genius, a guru unless you welcome and desire all the attention and hoohah surrounding your every move.

Well, that's me, a superhero. I am a genius who knows every technic and method of troubleshotting problems. I am a guru who you would look up to if you want directions in solving your problems. i am born to do multitasking and knows exactly how to prioritize my work to suit your ever changing needs. I have no problem spending more than enough time working productively for you. I'll even sacrifice my time with my family if I have to protect your reputation, however ruined it may have become. Heck, I'll even take all the brunt and scolding for you. I am resilient. Nothing can touch me. I am your punching bag.

At the end, and after all the years, you may kick me off if I don't live up to your expectation. You'll just say life's like that.

That is the problem. That is what is expected of me now, to be a superhero, to satisfy your every requirement so you can be successful. My talents and capabilities must be exploited to the fullest in order for you to gain recognition from your peers.

Now, it is time for me to say enough is enough. You have no right to stand in my way. And that 'way' is the way to my progress and growth. I have done all I have been able to according to my faculties. It is time I look into my needs and channel all my effort and energy into paving the way for my future. You claimed to have acted in my interest but all you have accomplished is victory in demoralising me and making me feel inadequate and incapable of achieving goals. Have it your way then if it makes you content.

Someday, very soon, I will be detached from the gripping sense of dependency on a corporation that feeds on the fruits of labour painstakingly produced by others of my kind. Then will I be able to channel all my energy, with a renewed sense of freedom, into realising my dream.

Only then will I be able to wake up in the mornings to welcome the day and embrace it, however it may choose to manifest itself, with great anticipation, ready to face challenges.

Armoured with will and confidence will I take on the tasks that once seemed impossible.

In collaboration that is bonded in trust and openess will I be able to surmount the uphill beginnings and eventually patch the great divide.

In collaboration will I be able to demonstrate the true meaning of Transformation!

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