Dreams of frustration

Some sleep I had last night : (

I hate it when I sleep through a fever. I never failed to get these dreams - of patterns, or a certain kind of pattern that keeps turning and turning. Even when I awake in the middle of the night and go back to sleep again, that same pattern would come back and haunt my dream throughout till morning. It really tires the mind. Really hate it.

Last night was no different only that I was not having fever. Things are not the same as a year before when I would be looking forward to going back to work after the weekend. Now, Sunday evenings mark a very solemn occasion in my life cos that 'looking forward' died a year ago. So that very night on the eve of Mo-a-nday I was having this dream of a certain pattern where I had to 'invoke' a certain first step and skim through the different stages of the moving pattern which keeps on repeating itself. And after my body had taken a break to the bathroom, I had to start all over again infusing my subconscious into that same pattern, ooh! I had lost self control over my own self!

It's like some big jigsaw puzzle (more like a problem) dumped into my head and refuse to exit until a solution could be found. Nowadays, sleep is definitely not what I'm looking forward to, nor Mondays!